Pumps and prayers...

Sabrina has had to deal with a life-altering illness, Type 1 Diabetes, for just over a year now. I can't say enough how proud I am of her for how she handles it, most of the time. She went from being terrified at immunization time to giving herself her own injections of insulin 4-5 times a day within a matter of weeks. Then, in December, she was changed over to the on-site insulin pump and continuous glucose monitor. This is what has become a major part of her life and ours. All of the equipment and site injections every 3 or so days.
It's something that has spilled over into so many areas and brought so many learning experiences. I think it's made her stronger, and I've been trying to help her understand that it is something she can control...not let it control her. Even McKenna mimics her. She wants to be like big sis...with her own "pump"...
But, last night also came a teaching moment that I tried to take advantage of today. Sabrina was changing her site on her pump, and having a hard time...it was late...she was tired. And, I don't blame her not wanting to stick a 1/2 inch needle straight into her stomach every 3 days. So, after it was done, she came to me crying that Heavenly Father didn't answer her prayer to help her find a good spot that wouldn't hurt. I tried to explain that He loves her, and it is going to hurt anyway...it didn't mean He wasn't answering her prayers.

Then, today in the combined adult meeting at church, the speaker talked exclusively about prayer, about desire, about listening for answers, about doing the right things that will put you in a position to get answers. So, I started thinking again about Sabrina last night.

She definitely had the desire...she even had faith He would help her. So, what I wanted to explain to her (and I brought Hayden in too) was something I still struggle with...giving into His will...not that it's His will that she be in pain. But, that she needs to use her prayers to ask for her own growth and strength to handle these challenges. That we can want something so badly, but it just isn't in the cards, or isn't something we can change...so ask for something we can...like to endure.

I hope that as she gets older she can grow closer to her Heavenly Father and learn to view prayer as shared communication with Him. Not just outlining what we're grateful for, or asking for what we need, but really talking to Him and feeling Him. It's what I hope for-for all of them, and myself as well.