He knows me...

A couple of months ago, the kids and I went to visit a dear friend while we were home for my grandmother's funeral. I had a long, sweet conversation about our similar current situations, recent moves prompting changes, etc.

I told her how rough it's been for me to find my groove in our new life. With McKenna in school, I had been having a rough time figuring out what that meant for me, a stay-at-home mom for the past 6 years. I was trying to enjoy the free time in the morning. I was working out 3-4 times a week, but not seeing any wanted results. I was catching up on TV, and feeling pretty blah. I was blog hopping, overwhelmed at the amount of fun stuff out there. I wanted to go to lunch, but had no one to go with. Everything is so expensive here, and I wasn't bringing in any money. I had been thinking about getting a part-time job, but having a hard time working it in without it being hard on my family.

So, this dear friend told me to sit down and really ask for my Heavenly Father to help me to find my way. She told me that if I wanted to find the perfect job, Heavenly Father loved me and would help me.

So, I took her advice...after I returned, I really focused on asking Him to give me what he felt I needed...that I would find a position that would help the family financially, and have the least impact on my family. I applied for a couple of things, struggling to find something during their short school day, and considering all the extra days off for Furlough Fridays.

I then received an email that a position was opening at Sabrina's school in the lunchroom. I thought, "perfect!" It was during the school days, furloughs and holidays off...summer off. I went down the next morning, filled out applications, interviewed, and received a positive sendoff to await a call for fingerprinting as a final step.

Later that week, I hadn't heard anything, so I called and was told they were still collecting applications and would be doing formal interviews the next week...strange...but I was still hopeful. At this point, though, I was starting to really think about the position. It wasn't a lot of money, and it would mean an end to ALL of my free time. The only time I'd be home would be with the kids.

Also, I was realizing what my calling at church is going to require. That week, a friend of mine was in the hospital with complications prior to her delivery. I visited her twice, and watched a couple of her kids overnight when her child was born. I had presidency meetings, and a girl's-only trip to the movies. I had lunch with a new lady in the ward that I was really clicking with. I chaperoned a field trip for Hayden. I had lunch with Dennis. I was busy. I was fulfilled. And, I was enjoying myself. I started to understand that I would lose all of that for a minimal amount of money.

I was raised to honor commitments, so I struggled with turning down the position. I had interviewed a second time, but was now losing interest. I began to pray to Heavenly Father over the decision to accept the position, even if my heart wasn't in it. By Friday, I had all but decided to tell them I would be unable to do it. Then, Saturday, the letter came that they had selected another applicant. I rejoiced!

Thank you! Thank you for knowing me. For loving me. For helping me see, in a few short days a clearer path. I am now more excited than ever to plan and carry out activities to bring the sisters of our ward together. To be available to visit and help those in need. To be there should my children require me to run their instrument to school, chaperone a field trip, schedule a dental appt. Within a month's time our finances have gotten smoother, and I feel really good about where we are right now.

I believe He will answer our prayers. He loves us. He knows us and our needs...even when we don't. He. Knows. Me.