A Mom's Job is Never Done

I hope all of my fellow-moms out there had a great day yesterday. And, even if you're not a mom, yet. Just being a woman gives us a nurturing nature that means we can be an example and a teacher to any child. I have a beautiful friend that is a fabulous person and the best Kindergarten teacher, but doesn't have any children of her own. She's touched many lives already, and all without having to go through 36 hours of labor! ha ha

So, I won't tell you all how old I am. I will tell you it's older than I look. And old enough to know better. But, this week I did a bad thing. I did a childish thing. And my mom called me on it. That's what moms do. They don't care if you're 4 or 40, you're still their child, and they still teach you.

I love my mom. She made it look so easy. (Why is that always the case?) She stayed home with us until around my Jr. year in high school. She cleaned the house and had the floors done by 10am every day. She taught us responsibility and independence (sometimes to her chagrin, I think, ha ha), and taught us that the church was true. Bumpy roads notwithstanding, I think it's a testament that all 4 of her children are active in the church. And, I truly appreciate the sacrifices she made for us as I make them for my own children.

When I was married, to my military man, I think I broke her heart. Being a mother was her life. I was the oldest, first one to leave home, and about to move across an ocean and start a new life, and I don't think I took into account how deeply she felt that. 17 years, 3 kids, and 5 moves later, I really understand how much you miss your children when they aren't there. I've missed my family all these years, and I didn't even give birth to any of them.

There's been times when I was jealous that all of my brothers were in proximity, traveling to my dad's for holidays and getting together for family occasions. But I made a choice, and that choice has given me the chance to experience wonderful things, but it's also meant I had to give up other wonderful things.

But, in all, it's made me grow and appreciate what is truly important in life. To appreciate the gospel, that it's the same no matter what country I'm in, or on what island I live. To be grateful for the visits we do get, and the phone calls that help us keep in touch. I love that I can call my mom for that recipe I can't find, or ask what to do with my hair, or how to not lock my teen in her room until she's 30.

Which brings me back to my initial point. A mom's job is NEVER done. You don't kiss them on their wedding day and say goodbye. We are responsible to raise these children to be responsible adults, good communicaters, and loving human beings, and then continue the cycle with their own children. She did that for me. She taught me to stand on my own, but keep coming back for more. And for that, I'm forever grateful, that she continues to be there for me...to tell me when I've screwed up, then turn around and tell me she loves me anyway. Just like our Heavenly Father. Love you, mom! 

Choose Ye, but there are consequences...

I just read a post at a blog I follow about what would happen if your teen decided they didn't want to attend church anymore. It can be found here, MormonMomma . Here's the comment I left following the post:

I just taught our Relief Society lesson this weekend using Elder Lawrence’s Conf talk from Oct ’10 on Courageous Parenting, so I’ve been thinking about things like this lately.

I think it’s important to have Agency, but realize that there are consequences to every decision. To let your children choose to stay home, without any adverse consequences, is not teaching them to make the RIGHT choices. You wouldn’t just let them stay home from school, would you? If we were “sick” enough to stay home, then we were too “sick” to play, right?


I have also heard recently that if you raise your children right, in the gospel, then they will be better prepared to return to you, no matter what the situation. I do believe that a good, open relationship with your children is important in any case. They should know why you believe what you do, why you wish them to follow, and what will happen if they don’t.


One last point, if your teen does choose to not attend church, I’d think they’d still have to follow your rules of the house, which would include family prayer, study, and FHE. They should still have the same rules when out with friends, and standards that they would if they were attending. They could essentially be still “living” the gospel without attending the meetings. This could get them past this tangled point in their growth until they decide to come back. And, if they don’t they will still be better prepared to handle adult decisions.

The Bucket and the Dippers

So, I'm trying to do some inspirational reading on Sundays along with the other uplifting activities we already have. I've been reading Mary Ellen Edmunds, MEE Speaks. She has a sense of humor, tons of experience, and really just tells it like it is. I like that in any woman, but especially an LDS woman. Stand up and be counted, I say.

In today's reading, she says that we all have buckets. These buckets hold our good stuff..."peace, comfort, love, joy, strength and such." We can help fill each other's buckets with "hugs, listening, sincere praise, pointing out strengths, being sensitive to needs (and doing something about them when you can), cheerfulness, honest, patience..."

But, then there are our dippers. We each have one, and we can get our dippers in others buckets. Instead of positive uplifting, we point out faults, criticize, ignore, and chastise. We need to recognize right away when we have our dippers in someone's bucket and start filling it instead.

She also points out that when our buckets are empty, we act differently. We push people away, try to put the "lid" on our buckets, and don't have anything to give to others. So, if we just work to always fill buckets, instead of dipping in buckets, we will find ours filling too. We'll be overflowing and have so much more to give.

I love that. I'm a visual person, and I like the idea of me pouring love into someone else's bucket. I'm going to work on that. I think people know their faults enough. We don't need to keep pointing them out. And what is that saying-- that when you point at someone there's 3 fingers pointing back at yourself? I don't need that. So, here's to filling the buckets, to overflowing. We can do it! Anyone with me?