I'm Eeking Back....

Well, I am tired of opening my browser to have that previous ugly post staring back at me. It was a difficult year, and I'm hoping that I can put an end to it.

At the time, I had decided that some things had to go to ease the stress in my life. So, I took a break from blogging. I should have posted about my decision...for both of you who read my blog(wink). I decided to spend my free energy fostering local and online relationships, translating to less pressure and more rewards for me. Writing on the blog has always been too much of an ideal for me to live up to.

If you know me well, you know I don't do anything I'm not going to be good at. I read some wonderful, amazing, inspiring blogs. I have always worried about my consistency. Plus, I wanted to make sure I was sharing a variety of uplifting news. So, when we don't reach these benchmarks we sometimes set for ourselves, it can make us feel more failure. I didn't need that at the time, or now. So, I'm trying a fresh start with a new outlook in a new place--figuratively and literally.

We recently moved from one side of the US, actually from the furthest West in Hawaii, to the east coast, in South Carolina. It's been a BIG move, a huge ordeal, and the toughest move of all for our our family. We're finally in a home, still no belongings yet, but I need to get on task. Each week is getting a little better. In a few weeks when our home is in order, and I have a better routine, this will hopefully all be a distant memory.

But, today, I need to live the quote I have at the top, "Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life." All the good. All the bad. All the moments. And there are some really good ones in there. I should have chronicled them this past year, instead of rushing past them. This year will be different...better. It's up to me, right? Just be patient for me. And I'll try to be gentle on myself.

So, a little recap from my November 2011 post to now:
The holidays went off without too much of a hitch. Carols were sung, presents were gifted, merry was made. I did spend most of Christmas day with a migraine, but we got to skype with my whole family and speak to Dennis's on the phone.

The rest of the school year was a struggle for one and a breeze for another. That online K12 program certainly is easier on some personalities than others. For my oldest, Sabrina, she missed making friends and worked hard every day to stay caught up, cutting into any social life she may have wanted. For Hayden, he was in his element. He loved finishing his work mid-morning so he could have computer free time. He would minecraft with his friends in the afternoon and spend some days with his best friend doing school work, then playing. McKenna's school year went off well. She had a great relationship with her teacher, enjoyed school, and had some great friends.

We were able to take a trip to the Big Island of Hawaii during spring break, amazed at how much more untouched it was than Oahu. We had a fabulous week and saw another amazing part of this world. Maybe I'll do another recap post of that some time. My mom was able to come out a couple of weeks later, during the worst storm weekend we had our entire time on Oahu. It was such a disappointment to not be able to show her more of the beauty of Hawaii, but we were able to spend time together, and that's what really matters anyway.

My middle brother and his family came out at the end of May and spent 2 weeks in our home. They allowed us to be tourists and do all of the fun things Hawaii has to offer for one last time. The kids really enjoyed hanging out with their cousins since they don't get to often.

About April, we had started preparing to move off the island, knowing an assignment would come in May. The options of location weren't great, and we did get an initial assignment to Cannon AFB, NM. This base is so remote that after a process involving a medical board, the assignment was cancelled due to lack of facilities to support Sabrina's diabetic needs. Then began the waiting game...9 weeks to be exact, before we would get the new assignment.

The second week in August, we receive an assignment to Shaw AFB, SC, followed by a mad rush to get out of Hawaii before the end of the month. We started packing up on the 10th and cleared our house on the 20th. We flew out of Hawaii on the 21st and, 3 flights later, into South Carolina on the 22nd. The south definitely has a learning curve. But, we're adjusting. The kids all started school last week, and so far are holding their own. Now to see where this new adventure takes us!

The Holiday of Downward Spirals

I've been missing...but just here...not in life...life has been a flurry of activity since the summer-- with school starting...and family and friends visiting....and soccer season...and church activities...and Pinterest...and...now I'm full on in the throes of the holiday season.

I was answering an email to a good friend of mine, and with the state of my life right now, it didn't seem real to just rattle off all the comings and goings of the Terry family. So, I laid it out for her. That things are hectic...that I'm stressed...that I bring so much of it on myself. And I realized something. It was C.A.T.H.A.R.T.I.C.  Making the list of everything that is killing me right now helped to put it in perspective. And, I wanted to share. Because this friend had shared something with me that was real and personal and prompted my catharsis. I don't know if it will make me slow down at all. But, for today, I feel better. So, here goes. Maybe it can help you to re-evaluate your life and put things in perspective too.

"I'm chagrined that it took me so long to respond, but my happy, busy life is spiraling out of control right now because I have too much to do and not enough time to do it. I apologize ahead for being so real, but I miss you, and talking to you, and your email sounds like you are happy, but not truly content...I totally relate, to find the little joys in the everyday things of raising my family, but really missing connections with people and missing those I love.

So, here goes....I'm supposed to be finishing up thank you's for donations for the joint spouse conference we had....in October. Wrap up meeting is the 1st....I know I'm behind...as always.

Then, there is our Christmas social for Relief Society at church...on Dec 1st...I've got to get my ducks in a row for that. Yes...the same day as our meeting for JSC. Don't call me that day...I may explode.

Then there is cooking a fab Thanksgiving meal, that we don't have anyone to invite to, and my family won't truly appreciate, but I can't stop myself. Really. I can't.

My dining room table is covered with the joys of card making...I can't find time to sit down and finish, but it has to be cleaned up by tomorrow. Or we have no where to eat.

I have way too many cute things on my Pinterest that I want to try immediately, and no time to do it.

Also, I started a FB page this week, Lisa's Paper Art and Gifts, for my clipboards and cards, which I have some on hand, but will genuinely freak out if I have to make something specific on a time crunch. People have been telling me I should really sell them, and I know it's late in the season, but I hoped to get some business before Christmas.

On top of everything, it's that time of year when I think of Christine and the fact that at the last Thanksgiving we spent with her we had no idea she would be gone from us in 2 weeks.

So, thank you for keeping in touch, for understanding my life and being someone I'm truly thankful for, this time of year and always."

 

That's how I truly feel...today...stressed...and happy...and spinning...and grateful. All wrapped up in one bustling mom of a body. Each of those things give me something to be grateful for, whether it is food on our table, creativity, or people that have come into my life and made a difference.

I'm thankful for the things I am blessed with in my life; for the people I love, my resolve and my strength that allow me to take on so many wonderful things, and the faith that Heavenly Father watches over us, and is there for us in times of trial and times of gratitude. Now, go on...make your list of crazy things you are grateful for. It will help...if nothing else, it will let you take a breather before you make another pie.

A Mom's Job is Never Done

I hope all of my fellow-moms out there had a great day yesterday. And, even if you're not a mom, yet. Just being a woman gives us a nurturing nature that means we can be an example and a teacher to any child. I have a beautiful friend that is a fabulous person and the best Kindergarten teacher, but doesn't have any children of her own. She's touched many lives already, and all without having to go through 36 hours of labor! ha ha

So, I won't tell you all how old I am. I will tell you it's older than I look. And old enough to know better. But, this week I did a bad thing. I did a childish thing. And my mom called me on it. That's what moms do. They don't care if you're 4 or 40, you're still their child, and they still teach you.

I love my mom. She made it look so easy. (Why is that always the case?) She stayed home with us until around my Jr. year in high school. She cleaned the house and had the floors done by 10am every day. She taught us responsibility and independence (sometimes to her chagrin, I think, ha ha), and taught us that the church was true. Bumpy roads notwithstanding, I think it's a testament that all 4 of her children are active in the church. And, I truly appreciate the sacrifices she made for us as I make them for my own children.

When I was married, to my military man, I think I broke her heart. Being a mother was her life. I was the oldest, first one to leave home, and about to move across an ocean and start a new life, and I don't think I took into account how deeply she felt that. 17 years, 3 kids, and 5 moves later, I really understand how much you miss your children when they aren't there. I've missed my family all these years, and I didn't even give birth to any of them.

There's been times when I was jealous that all of my brothers were in proximity, traveling to my dad's for holidays and getting together for family occasions. But I made a choice, and that choice has given me the chance to experience wonderful things, but it's also meant I had to give up other wonderful things.

But, in all, it's made me grow and appreciate what is truly important in life. To appreciate the gospel, that it's the same no matter what country I'm in, or on what island I live. To be grateful for the visits we do get, and the phone calls that help us keep in touch. I love that I can call my mom for that recipe I can't find, or ask what to do with my hair, or how to not lock my teen in her room until she's 30.

Which brings me back to my initial point. A mom's job is NEVER done. You don't kiss them on their wedding day and say goodbye. We are responsible to raise these children to be responsible adults, good communicaters, and loving human beings, and then continue the cycle with their own children. She did that for me. She taught me to stand on my own, but keep coming back for more. And for that, I'm forever grateful, that she continues to be there for me...to tell me when I've screwed up, then turn around and tell me she loves me anyway. Just like our Heavenly Father. Love you, mom! 

Choose Ye, but there are consequences...

I just read a post at a blog I follow about what would happen if your teen decided they didn't want to attend church anymore. It can be found here, MormonMomma . Here's the comment I left following the post:

I just taught our Relief Society lesson this weekend using Elder Lawrence’s Conf talk from Oct ’10 on Courageous Parenting, so I’ve been thinking about things like this lately.

I think it’s important to have Agency, but realize that there are consequences to every decision. To let your children choose to stay home, without any adverse consequences, is not teaching them to make the RIGHT choices. You wouldn’t just let them stay home from school, would you? If we were “sick” enough to stay home, then we were too “sick” to play, right?


I have also heard recently that if you raise your children right, in the gospel, then they will be better prepared to return to you, no matter what the situation. I do believe that a good, open relationship with your children is important in any case. They should know why you believe what you do, why you wish them to follow, and what will happen if they don’t.


One last point, if your teen does choose to not attend church, I’d think they’d still have to follow your rules of the house, which would include family prayer, study, and FHE. They should still have the same rules when out with friends, and standards that they would if they were attending. They could essentially be still “living” the gospel without attending the meetings. This could get them past this tangled point in their growth until they decide to come back. And, if they don’t they will still be better prepared to handle adult decisions.

The Bucket and the Dippers

So, I'm trying to do some inspirational reading on Sundays along with the other uplifting activities we already have. I've been reading Mary Ellen Edmunds, MEE Speaks. She has a sense of humor, tons of experience, and really just tells it like it is. I like that in any woman, but especially an LDS woman. Stand up and be counted, I say.

In today's reading, she says that we all have buckets. These buckets hold our good stuff..."peace, comfort, love, joy, strength and such." We can help fill each other's buckets with "hugs, listening, sincere praise, pointing out strengths, being sensitive to needs (and doing something about them when you can), cheerfulness, honest, patience..."

But, then there are our dippers. We each have one, and we can get our dippers in others buckets. Instead of positive uplifting, we point out faults, criticize, ignore, and chastise. We need to recognize right away when we have our dippers in someone's bucket and start filling it instead.

She also points out that when our buckets are empty, we act differently. We push people away, try to put the "lid" on our buckets, and don't have anything to give to others. So, if we just work to always fill buckets, instead of dipping in buckets, we will find ours filling too. We'll be overflowing and have so much more to give.

I love that. I'm a visual person, and I like the idea of me pouring love into someone else's bucket. I'm going to work on that. I think people know their faults enough. We don't need to keep pointing them out. And what is that saying-- that when you point at someone there's 3 fingers pointing back at yourself? I don't need that. So, here's to filling the buckets, to overflowing. We can do it! Anyone with me?

Safe and secure?

Being in a military community for all of these years, I think I've gotten a false sense of security. I've never had to deal with much crime, or fear of crime. With ID checks to get onto the military base, we falsely think we are immune to the impulses of criminals. That's stuff that happens "off-base," right?  Or what about those of us living in small communities, or primarily "mormon" locations? I have family on the mainland that rarely locks their doors.

Almost a year ago, we heard tales of some that may have been gaining access to our base housing over the fences and trying to access homes. I believe they were caught, or it went away, but we didn't hear any more.

Then a few weeks ago, I found out a friend of mine had a stroller taken out of her garage by a woman passing by. In broad daylight. That seems kind of bold, but still could have been a small, one-time incident.

So, Friday morning, when I was awakened at 4:50am by a car alarm, I didn't think much of it. Someone accidentally set it off, I thought. But, when I left the house just before 9am, I found the street covered with police and neighbors out checking homes and cars. Someone had had a hey-day heading down our street, vandalizing and thieving along the way.

I think that we may be initially shocked when things happen that we didn't see coming, things we don't understand. Like criminal acts. I know that at the first report, I was shocked-- at first. And, then again, when I heard the second report. But, it went away and a sense of security returned.

But, when it really affected us, this last time, that's when it really hit me. That you never know how safe you are. Living on a military base, or in a Utah community, you never know.

So, how can we really feel safe? I figure we do what we can to protect ourselves and our family, and we put the rest in the Lord's hands. The faithful part of me believes that living right and making good choices will be all of the protection we should need. But, then that would mean that bad things don't happen to good people. Which I know is not true.

Then, the cynical part of me believes that the Lord helps those that help themselves. So, a certain level of our safety and security is up to us. So maybe that is the answer...it's a little, or a lot, of both. We take precautions. We teach our children safe practices. Then we pray for God to watch over us and keep us safe.

I love hearing my children in our evening prayer asking for their Heavenly Father to watch over them and those we love. I do it too. But I love that, for them, it IS that simple. Their faith is that pure. Another example of greatness by our pure and precious children...

Disappointment of the Week

My disappointment of the week- purchasing an anticipated Avril Lavigne album and finding, not one, but 4 songs with “bad” words. Great songs with great beats. Some great messages, even. Too bad I can’t play them in the car. Too bad I’ll have to upload the clean songs to Ipod if I want to play just them. Too bad such a talented girl felt she had to be so “rough” and “raw.”

I have a confession to make. Years ago on an album by this same artist, I convinced my kids she sang, “damp,” cold night. Maybe that was a sign. I guess it wasn’t a one-time thing.

I’m disappointed that this album didn’t have a parental warning on the label. I’ve purchased “clean” version albums before. I didn’t think that there would be CD’s without the label that had offensive language. I checked into it, and found that there’s no standard for using the warning. Did you know that? I also found out that retailers like WalMart won’t stock CD’s with the warning. Seems like there’s an incentive to leave it off.

You can preview most songs online, but unless the snippet includes the bad words, you still won’t know. And you can’t take it back once you’ve opened it. There’s $14 out the window…

It just makes it harder as a parent to keep up with what your kids are listening to. I usually get Sabrina’s music and rip it to her Ipod for her. But a lot of parents don’t. How many parents have listened to every CD their kids own?

So, here’s the other issue: The standards. When researched, it seemed only blatant, face-blushing language was given a warning. I’m not a prude, but it seems like the standards have changed fast. What used to be “offensive” isn’t considered so. And, yes, I know my kids have heard the words before. But, they’re not pretty—or intelligent vocabulary. Why expose them repeatedly until they are desensitized?

In searching for anything “virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy,” it sure can be difficult, can’t it? But, it’s so worth it. So, goodbye to Goodbye Lullaby. I’m disappointed that you weren’t appropriate to truly enjoy.

Parental Fail #42

Hubby and I were watching a parenting-themed show the other night. They are all sitting down to dinner like a good American family. There’s a little tension and the teen daughter says, “Hey, I scored 3 goals in my game today.” To which her parents replied, “That’s great!” And “Good Job.” Dennis says, “Why weren’t they there?” Good question. If your child is such a star and can score 3 goals, why would you not be there? And, even if they aren’t, shouldn’t you still be there?

Which brings me to my parental fail today. I received an email from Sabrina’s coach that there won’t be a game this weekend. And, as hard as it is to admit, I was a little giddy.

In my defense, this is her 12th year playing soccer. And we also have Hayden’s last game on Saturday. I just thought of all the freed up time.

And, don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge advocate for kids’ soccer. It teaches teamwork and stamina and discipline. It’s great exercise. Plus, as they’ve gotten older, it’s even been fun to watch as they’ve gotten aggressive and skilled. And, it’s not a bad way to get some sun (unlike the freezing cold Friday nights in October when we lived in Germany).

So, I guess after a hectic week of appointments…and church activities…and homework…etc., I’m feeling like I just want to sit home on a Saturday. Or splash at the beach with the family. So, here comes the guilt that followed the giddy. I’m off the hook. But I felt bad for even thinking that.

Because, deep down, I do think a parent should be there for their kids’ soccer games. And music concerts. And pack meetings. And roadshow performances. Whether they are the star or not. Because, really, they should feel like a star. And when parents take the time to be there for all of their special and everyday moments, especially when they want to be there, kids will feel like stars. Definitely NOT a fail.

I Don't Measure Up!

I'm feeling a little manic at the moment. I spent a lot of time re-vamping my blog. I feel all empowered and fresh, and yes, a little beautiful. And, I have all of these ideas of what I want to say here. Unfortunately, I'm getting them all from other fabulous ladies in the blog world. It goes like this:

1. I read a fabulous, funny, insightful post.
2. I comment on said post, always being genuinely complimentary, then sharing how I concur...or have learned...or will try to do better.
3. Which leads to, "hmmmmm, maybe I should write that revelation on my blog?"
4. Which leads to guilt over the stealing of ideas...so much so, that I even went so far as to look it up. Apparently you can "steal words" but you can't "steal ideas."

Which doesn't do much for my confidence in my creativity. So, in the end, I just.do.nothing. It's all so exhausting, really. I think I'm trying to come up with something relevant to add out there. And, all I get is crickets...(literally, it's quiet and the crickets from my kids' gecko feeder are driving me nuts!)

I should be content in the fact that others have my struggles. Revel that others share my enthusiasms. And, yes, even sometimes, I'll find another that has a little bit of my crazy. But, we all want to be a little special, right?

I think I'm freaking out a little because I've had a few commenters lately that checked me out after my commenting on their blogs. What if they read my post say, "hey! That was MY idea!" Or even worse, what if they think they could have said it better? Or funnier? I don't think I could handle the unknown rejection I've built up in my mind. So, again, I.do.nothing. I've quit before I've begun.

Maybe I'll just write and write, and don't care if they see it. And, if they do, imitation is the best form of flattery, right? Or maybe I'll just write about writing...yeah...that's original.

Great Quote!

I finally got the hankerin' for some chocolate this afternoon and ripped into a small box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts given to me as a gift. It was wrapped in some netting with a great quote attached.

"A grateful heart...comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives."
Thomas S. Monson

This speaks to me right now. I'm feeling so grateful for the people in my life lately. I feel so full from the love I've been given and the people that make me strive for greatness in all that I do. I am who I am because of those people that I choose to share my life with. What a true blessing!

You can't whaaaaat?

Dear Leslie,
You may have thought that you had encountered the only crazy person working in a military facility...But, I have to tell you that AAFES does not have the monopoly on hiring people with mental disorders.

Tonight I went looking around the appliances at the Navy exchange. I have been contemplating red appliances (I know, you're thinking "I luuuuuv me some red!" right now...) So, I saw on an aisle they had on display a red toaster, coffee maker, crockpot, rice cooker, and hand mixer. I started looking for the toaster...an off-brand, but hey, for $15, I could afford to replace mine for a trendy pop of red on my counter.

So, I finally found a box....uh, empty. None other could I find. But, a salesperson was right there. I asked her about it. She said it was probably the display box....

Me: I don't see any others...
Her: We've probably sold them all.
Me: Can I have the display?
Her: We don't sell the display.
Me: Are you going to get more in?
Her: No, it was promotional for Valentines.
Me: So....what happens to the display?
Her: It's NEX policy, we don't sell any displays (as she leans down to PUT THE EMPTY BOX BACK ON THE SHELF!)
Me: So, why do you have a toaster on display you can't sell me?
Her: Um....
Me: Don't you think you should take down the display if you don't have any more, and can't sell the display?
Her: Oh, we will....(as she turns and walks away from me, back to the end cap she was straightening...)

Yes, Leslie, Navy has their own brand of crazy! BTW, had the ending ruined for any movies lately?

Whew!

So far this week: Driving the seminary carpool at 5:30am, sorted Toys for Tots service project, took McKenna to visit her BFF having surgery in the hospital, made birthday calendars with my organizing group, grocery shopped, went to Costco twice, Target once, had a presidency meeting, made 10 batches of fudge, visited a friend in the hospital in labor, AND took care of my family...It's only Wednesday! Must be the holidays....

Nov 30th...

I'm using this last day of "gratefuls" to say thank you to my family for being the individuals they are...each one unique, yet working as a team. I love you!

Nov 29th...

I'm grateful for days that wear me out because I got so much done!

Nov 28th...

I'm grateful for the times I get to spend with Sabrina and her great friends from church. They are a great group of youth!

Nov 27th...

I'm grateful for a fridge full of food, easy dinners for the weekend!

Nov 26th…

I'm grateful that going into the Christmas season, I'm nearly done shopping.

Nov 25th...Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm grateful for my family, my friends, my faith and my freedom. I'm grateful to be in this place at this time of my life

Nov 24…

I'm grateful when I learn something new from friends. We're trying brining the turkey this year.

Nov 23rd...

I'm grateful for sweet Valerie Fillmore and always being willing and able to help!