Our Princess Problem

Recently, McKenna and her BFF put on a play for us entitled, "The Life of a Princess," which amounted to "a princess is pretty and doesn't have to do anything for herself."

I'm sure Disney is to blame. I mean, have you ever seen an ugly princess? Only the wicked step-sisters have some facial disfigurements. And Cinderella...she was completely wronged by having to cook and clean. You never saw her do any of that after she married the prince.

So, of course it couldn't be that she's our youngest. Or that she's too darn cute that she gets away with everything. Or that she has the sweetest temperament and anyone would do anything for her. I'm sure it's not that fact that her older brother carried her...on his back...through all of Rome. And anywhere else she doesn't want to walk. To. This. Day.

And I could probably be on board with the whole princess thing if we didn't have one little problem (because did I mention she's nearly perfectly adorable?)...this princess has a princess room...lots of pink...lots of toys....lots of pretty dresses and shoes. What the princess doesn't have, is a maid. She has completely taken to heart her views that a princess has everything done for her, and we can't get her to clean her room.

I read a post today that described various methods of getting an end-goal with her daughter. I've tried them. I have offered rewards. I have withheld playtime. I have tried, "You can't come out til it's done." Eventually she does have to go to school. Or, "Do one section at a time." I think it just shifts from area to the next. I have gone in and helped and directed. I have offered siblings to help. They end up frustrated and leave. What finally takes a week or more to do, is undone in one afternoon.

The thing is, I'm an organized person. She has bins, and shelves, and baskets. Everything in her room has a place. She is content that the new place is on the floor. I've considered taking away toys, putting them in a tote until she asks for them back. But we tried that with the oldest. Didn't work.

I know some that ignore it...treating their kids' rooms as "their" space. And I try to keep the complaining about it to a minimum. But, day after day, it's getting old. And this morning, when she couldn't find her shoes, which were in the midst of her dress-up clothes, I hit my limit. Any suggestions for getting a princess-in-training to at least pick up her room?

Safe and secure?

Being in a military community for all of these years, I think I've gotten a false sense of security. I've never had to deal with much crime, or fear of crime. With ID checks to get onto the military base, we falsely think we are immune to the impulses of criminals. That's stuff that happens "off-base," right?  Or what about those of us living in small communities, or primarily "mormon" locations? I have family on the mainland that rarely locks their doors.

Almost a year ago, we heard tales of some that may have been gaining access to our base housing over the fences and trying to access homes. I believe they were caught, or it went away, but we didn't hear any more.

Then a few weeks ago, I found out a friend of mine had a stroller taken out of her garage by a woman passing by. In broad daylight. That seems kind of bold, but still could have been a small, one-time incident.

So, Friday morning, when I was awakened at 4:50am by a car alarm, I didn't think much of it. Someone accidentally set it off, I thought. But, when I left the house just before 9am, I found the street covered with police and neighbors out checking homes and cars. Someone had had a hey-day heading down our street, vandalizing and thieving along the way.

I think that we may be initially shocked when things happen that we didn't see coming, things we don't understand. Like criminal acts. I know that at the first report, I was shocked-- at first. And, then again, when I heard the second report. But, it went away and a sense of security returned.

But, when it really affected us, this last time, that's when it really hit me. That you never know how safe you are. Living on a military base, or in a Utah community, you never know.

So, how can we really feel safe? I figure we do what we can to protect ourselves and our family, and we put the rest in the Lord's hands. The faithful part of me believes that living right and making good choices will be all of the protection we should need. But, then that would mean that bad things don't happen to good people. Which I know is not true.

Then, the cynical part of me believes that the Lord helps those that help themselves. So, a certain level of our safety and security is up to us. So maybe that is the answer...it's a little, or a lot, of both. We take precautions. We teach our children safe practices. Then we pray for God to watch over us and keep us safe.

I love hearing my children in our evening prayer asking for their Heavenly Father to watch over them and those we love. I do it too. But I love that, for them, it IS that simple. Their faith is that pure. Another example of greatness by our pure and precious children...

What a blessed day!

Today was a fabulous Easter Sunday...everything went so well, and I felt so much peace and swelling in my heart today at church. I invited a neighbor to come with us, then have dinner afterwards. It was so good to share this day with her family.

I'm feeling blessed. I know my cup is full, and I have so much to be grateful for. I have really felt the Lord's influence in my life, especially lately. What a joy and a privilege to be able to share this with my family and those around me.

And here's a picture of my greatest blessings...all 4 of them. I love you guys! (And, yay, he wore the purple tie, although not so original...I saw at least 6 purple ties today)

Sunday Serenity...part 2!

Tomorrow is Easter. Last Sunday didn't go so well...as you may know from my post. I have high hopes, however, that tomorrow will be better.

First of all...it is 20 minutes shy of midnight, and we are finally done dying Easter eggs.

Second, I have successfully found Easter Sunday dress in varying shades of lavender for all members of our family. And, yes, Dennis WILL wear that purple tie...(I hope!)

Third, I had a lengthy visit getting to know my neighbor today and am assured that she is still planning on going to church with us tomorrow.

Fourth, I have planned and prepped a yummy Easter dinner. I also invited my neighbor, who's alone due to her husband being deployed, to dinner. I've been there, you know...

And last, because our meeting time is late in the day, we'll spend the morning sharing in the little joys of eggs and chocolate, and being together. Then I'll go to church and enjoy the talks and lessons focusing on the Savior's Atonement, surrounded by my family and friends. I am humbled by His sacrifice, but know I need to apply it more fully to my life.

At the end of the day, I hope to regain my lost peace from last week. I hope to be uplifted and spiritually fed. I hope to have spent an Easter Sunday welcoming the blessings of family and faith in my life. And, I wish the same joy for all of you this Easter!

Happy Birthday, Hayden!

12 years ago today, the sweetest, gentle boy joined our family. He really was a gentle sweet baby, and has always been such an even-tempered child. He has such a strong moral sense, always rooting for the underdog and giving empathy to others. I'm really proud of the young man I know he's becoming. He's a loyal friend, an honorable son, and a responsible human being.

This year is a huge milestone, turning 12. He'll be honored with the Aaronic priesthood, and start passing sacrament. He'll start "officially" babysitting McKenna, although for the past 6 years he has already been unofficially doing it; making her happiness his personal mission.

Hayden can always be counted to finish a job. He usually completes his homework at school, freeing him up to read, and play, and be my big helper. His interest in reading has really taken off. His book count since his last birthday is 47 books... real, independent reader books.

And, Hayden's doing fabulous in school all around. He's a math star, often given upper level work to keep him challenged. This one may just be an engineer someday...although he's always wanted to be a policeman, and now is talking about serving in the military. One thing is certain. He knows what he wants, and he's willing to work to get it. So, no matter what, he'll be ok. He'll be a good father and husband. He'll make us proud.

Hayden loves to swim, and read, and play computer games.  He is fast and tenacious on the soccer field. He loves ribs and ordering off the grown up's menu. He's the coolest kid I know.

 

So, Hayden Milo- Remember always, you are a child of Heavenly Father. You are our dear child. You are special. You are so loved. Happy Birthday!

Dear Eve, Mother of Man

Today I was chatting with a pregnant friend about possible baby names for her awaited little girl. She said she has recently considered "Eve" but wasn't set on it. Despite our understanding of Eve's essential role in the progress of man the rest of Christianity views her as having made a terrible mistake.

It brought to mind another recent instance where a FB friend of mine had posted that the life of Eve is an encouragement to her. She then went on to say that she, "can relate to a woman who has really made a mess of things," and that "God uses the life of Eve to remind us that we all make mistakes and are broken and wounded people." My first thought was, "how sad!"

Eve was a glorious, strong woman, willing to make a choice that would remove her and Adam from their idealic life. Making the choice to give them the opportunity for progress. To finally know pain, but to also know true joy. To play a role in a plan to bring all of us to this earth to be challenged and grow.

Other faiths don't understand the necessity of her choice. They don't respect her for the decision. It's sad that her name may be associated with "mistakes" and "broken." From my heart, I say, thank you. Thank you for your strength. For your love of our Heavenly Father. For choosing a life that may not have been easy, but was worth it.

Photography fun…

Last week was our photo outing for our photography group, a group of women sharing tips and motivation to enjoy and improve our photography skills. The group leader set up a location shoot at an old housing site here by the water using young women from our ward. It was a fun opportunity to get some great shots of my beautiful daughter.

Here are some of my favorites. Disclaimer: I don’t have a DSLR camera. I don’t want a DSLR camera. I’m too lazy for a DSLR camera. So, while I know that if I had used a high-end camera that my depth of field could have been better or my lighting could have been fixed with some aperture settings, I’m happy with my mid-size Canon. And, I think they are pretty good. All without any editing. Enjoy!

A Bumpy Road to Sunday Serenity

I take my family to church every week. As a matter of fact, in over a year and a half, I’ve missed 3 Sundays; one stake conference and two days when my grandma passed away, and I went to the mainland for a week. So, for me, Sundays are a day to get away from everyday life. To focus on my faith, my family, and build my spiritual reservoirs for the week ahead. I can’t remember a time when I just wanted to get up and leave church. I’m usually running toward church, not away. I feel good being there and am always glad that I’ve gone.

So, yesterday, when we were rushing to church, I was ok. When I “unknowingly” pulled into a handicap spot, then caught my scarf in the mechanism of the van door and it wouldn’t budge, I was dipping, but still ok. Tugging and tugging, a little help from a passerby, and I was able to get it closed. Then, when I finally got inside, Sabrina said there were no seats.

Row after row were “saved” by scriptures and bags, and a few people here and there. So, we ended up sitting in one that just had some sheet music sitting on the bench. Turns out, I think it was being saved by a member of the bishopric for his family. (Doesn’t everyone know that scriptures are the agreed upon “savers” for a bench in church?) I felt a little bad over that…

Anyway, I was walking down the aisle and one of my leaders told me that an activity we’d been working on for over 6 months (and had already been thwarted twice) was going to be cancelled by a newly scheduled stake emergency fair on the same date, I was definitely NOT ok.

I went out to move my car…(in my feeble defense, the handicap symbol was faded and not readily seen). I actually thought about driving away, to just keep going, and crawl back in bed. But my 3 kids sat on a bench awaiting my return. So, I sucked it up, and went back inside.

I sat through the meeting, really trying to not let this news get the best of me. Following which, I ran into one of my daughter’s leaders and was informed that the girls camp that had been cancelled was now being done on a ward level, and the cost per girl is going to be $200.PER.GIRL. AAAACK!

A friend caught up to me and asked “how’s it going…?” Wrong timing…A series of unfortunate events were scheming to steal my Sunday serenity. Instead of my spiritual tank being filled, it had been drained. I wish I could not be frustrated. I wish I could be more flexible. I wish that I harbored no ill will toward those putting me in the position of regretting going to church today. But, I’m not that person, not yet…

I actually made it through the three hours of meetings. Without too many silent tears, I’m proud to add. When we pulled into our shared driveway, and our new neighbor was getting her girls out of the car, I was really just focused on just getting in the house and letting it all out. When Sabrina commented that “we need to meet our new neighbor.” I replied with a snarky, “so you can play with her little kids?” Even as I said it, I felt a little bad.

The kids went into the house, and I stuck around to make sure all of our church gear made it out of the car. The neighbor came back out to clean out her car, and asked me where I went to church. I told her it was an LDS church in the Halawa area. She asked if it was far, and what ward we were in. **LIGHTBULB** (Not many non-LDS people even know the word “ward”.) So, I asked if she was LDS. She said she’d grown up in an LDS family, and her daughter that will come for the summer goes to church.

I told her that I could give her information or let her follow me to church some week. She then asked me, “How about next week?” I may have actually dropped my jaw to the ground. What an amazing interaction! Prompted by my 14 year old daughter’s sweet spirit. Thank goodness she was in-tune, when I was not. A day that had been one disappointment after another had turned out to be a glorious opportunity to help someone that may have been looking for something.

I believe the Lord puts people in our path that need us, and that sometimes we need to be needed. After this experience, I was able to spend my Sunday evening trying to fill my reserves back up.  Instead of letting the day get the best of me, I got the best I could out of the day. What a blessing!

Disappointment of the Week

My disappointment of the week- purchasing an anticipated Avril Lavigne album and finding, not one, but 4 songs with “bad” words. Great songs with great beats. Some great messages, even. Too bad I can’t play them in the car. Too bad I’ll have to upload the clean songs to Ipod if I want to play just them. Too bad such a talented girl felt she had to be so “rough” and “raw.”

I have a confession to make. Years ago on an album by this same artist, I convinced my kids she sang, “damp,” cold night. Maybe that was a sign. I guess it wasn’t a one-time thing.

I’m disappointed that this album didn’t have a parental warning on the label. I’ve purchased “clean” version albums before. I didn’t think that there would be CD’s without the label that had offensive language. I checked into it, and found that there’s no standard for using the warning. Did you know that? I also found out that retailers like WalMart won’t stock CD’s with the warning. Seems like there’s an incentive to leave it off.

You can preview most songs online, but unless the snippet includes the bad words, you still won’t know. And you can’t take it back once you’ve opened it. There’s $14 out the window…

It just makes it harder as a parent to keep up with what your kids are listening to. I usually get Sabrina’s music and rip it to her Ipod for her. But a lot of parents don’t. How many parents have listened to every CD their kids own?

So, here’s the other issue: The standards. When researched, it seemed only blatant, face-blushing language was given a warning. I’m not a prude, but it seems like the standards have changed fast. What used to be “offensive” isn’t considered so. And, yes, I know my kids have heard the words before. But, they’re not pretty—or intelligent vocabulary. Why expose them repeatedly until they are desensitized?

In searching for anything “virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy,” it sure can be difficult, can’t it? But, it’s so worth it. So, goodbye to Goodbye Lullaby. I’m disappointed that you weren’t appropriate to truly enjoy.

Parental Fail #42

Hubby and I were watching a parenting-themed show the other night. They are all sitting down to dinner like a good American family. There’s a little tension and the teen daughter says, “Hey, I scored 3 goals in my game today.” To which her parents replied, “That’s great!” And “Good Job.” Dennis says, “Why weren’t they there?” Good question. If your child is such a star and can score 3 goals, why would you not be there? And, even if they aren’t, shouldn’t you still be there?

Which brings me to my parental fail today. I received an email from Sabrina’s coach that there won’t be a game this weekend. And, as hard as it is to admit, I was a little giddy.

In my defense, this is her 12th year playing soccer. And we also have Hayden’s last game on Saturday. I just thought of all the freed up time.

And, don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge advocate for kids’ soccer. It teaches teamwork and stamina and discipline. It’s great exercise. Plus, as they’ve gotten older, it’s even been fun to watch as they’ve gotten aggressive and skilled. And, it’s not a bad way to get some sun (unlike the freezing cold Friday nights in October when we lived in Germany).

So, I guess after a hectic week of appointments…and church activities…and homework…etc., I’m feeling like I just want to sit home on a Saturday. Or splash at the beach with the family. So, here comes the guilt that followed the giddy. I’m off the hook. But I felt bad for even thinking that.

Because, deep down, I do think a parent should be there for their kids’ soccer games. And music concerts. And pack meetings. And roadshow performances. Whether they are the star or not. Because, really, they should feel like a star. And when parents take the time to be there for all of their special and everyday moments, especially when they want to be there, kids will feel like stars. Definitely NOT a fail.

I Don't Measure Up!

I'm feeling a little manic at the moment. I spent a lot of time re-vamping my blog. I feel all empowered and fresh, and yes, a little beautiful. And, I have all of these ideas of what I want to say here. Unfortunately, I'm getting them all from other fabulous ladies in the blog world. It goes like this:

1. I read a fabulous, funny, insightful post.
2. I comment on said post, always being genuinely complimentary, then sharing how I concur...or have learned...or will try to do better.
3. Which leads to, "hmmmmm, maybe I should write that revelation on my blog?"
4. Which leads to guilt over the stealing of ideas...so much so, that I even went so far as to look it up. Apparently you can "steal words" but you can't "steal ideas."

Which doesn't do much for my confidence in my creativity. So, in the end, I just.do.nothing. It's all so exhausting, really. I think I'm trying to come up with something relevant to add out there. And, all I get is crickets...(literally, it's quiet and the crickets from my kids' gecko feeder are driving me nuts!)

I should be content in the fact that others have my struggles. Revel that others share my enthusiasms. And, yes, even sometimes, I'll find another that has a little bit of my crazy. But, we all want to be a little special, right?

I think I'm freaking out a little because I've had a few commenters lately that checked me out after my commenting on their blogs. What if they read my post say, "hey! That was MY idea!" Or even worse, what if they think they could have said it better? Or funnier? I don't think I could handle the unknown rejection I've built up in my mind. So, again, I.do.nothing. I've quit before I've begun.

Maybe I'll just write and write, and don't care if they see it. And, if they do, imitation is the best form of flattery, right? Or maybe I'll just write about writing...yeah...that's original.

New home for My Moments…

Hey all…I have a new look and a new address for my blog. I have spent some time evaluating changes and growth, and felt like making some changes here, too. I have updated photos and profiles, and plan to keep this an uplifting place to visit and share my moments (95% of the time…with, maybe, just a weeeee 5% spent on venting now and then…teehee).
I have some more “Noble Woman” challenge posts in the works, and still lots to post from our recent visits with family and friends. Stay tuned, and be sure to bookmark the new home: www.lifemomentsandmusings.blogspot.com . See you there! (or here…or whatever!) And, let me know what you think!